Cheaters...

Why do people cheat? Well, for many reasons...most of the time it's because one partner is not getting what they want/need in the relationship due to of lack of communication. There are some people who are just bad seeds. Despite the why, being cheated on sucks. It sucks because the trust is broken and with STDs running rampid and becoming more difficult to treat, it's also a health issue.

If you been cheated on, the first thing you need to do is get checked out for STDs. Use condoms everytime you have sex until you get the all clear from the doctor. After you take care of the medical, you have to decide whether you want to forgive your cheating partner. If you decide to end the relationship, that's okay. If you decide to continue to remain in the relationship, that's perfectly fine too as long as you and your partner commit to communicating and working on what's wrong in the relationship. Go to couple's therapy if you need help with that. In addition as much as you want to, don't ask for details of the affair or the other person. That has nothing to do with your relationship and details do more harm than good. Although you have been wronged, you have to work on forgiving your cheating partner for YOU! Holding in resentment or taking in out on people who don't deserve it does much more harm than good and life is too short to have such negative feelings boiling within.

If you're the cheater, after you've been tested for STDs and ended all communication with the other person (phone, text, Facebook, and Twitter), you need to decide if you want to be in the main relationship in the first place. You need to think long and hard about this because it is not good to drag someone along in something you're not going to put 100% in. If you want to end the relationship, that's fine. If you want to continue the relationship, you need to tell your partner what you were not getting in the relationship or what caused them to stray and what you need to tell them what they need to do to satisfy that. If the other partner is unable or unwilling to give you what you need, the relationship needs to be ended. You may also need to so some soulsearching if what you want or need cannot be fulfilled by another person (i.e
Mom/Dad issues). A therapist can help you wifh personal issues if need be. Don't expect forgiveness and trust within a short period of time. You may never be forgiven or trusted again and you must accept that because it's the other person's right to give you that privlege and you MUST EARN IT BACK!

If you're thinking about cheating, you need to do one of two things, tell your partner what you are unhappy about and give them the opportunity to fix it or end the relationship (for good) and find what you're looking for. You cannot have your cake and eat it too.

I hope this post helps people in this situation...

Take care,
-Kimmy