Think about the last time you had a disagreement...was the person you were arguing with listening to you? Were you listening? Was there a compromise? Did the disagreement escalate? Did you get your point across? If you have a difficult time making your point or you get into misunderstandings frequently, it may be time to make some changes in how you communicate.
Try making I statements: an "I" statement goes like this: I feel _______________ when you ___________. For example, "I feel annoyed when you do not take out the trash."
Listen to what is being SAID not what you WANT to hear. Don't interrupt or get offensive. Listen to what the other person is saying then repeat what was said to ensure you heard what they said. The other person will either confirm or clarify for you.
If you start to get angry, take a time out. When you see that you or the other person is getting angry, it's okay to drop the conversation for a few minutes then return to it when you calm down. Remember to return to the conversation and not "drop it" completely.
Compromise or agree to disagree. Communication is not about being right in every conversation. The main point of communication is to get to a solution to an issue not winning. If you can come up with a solution both parties can agree with then the problem is solved. :)
Take responsibility for what you said and/or did: right or wrong. Being called out is never fun but owning up to your words and actions is the mature thing to do. We're all adults here. Accountability also opens many new lines of communication.
Try to understand the other side. When you understand the other person's view, regardless of whether you agree with it or not, it's easier to make your point. If you don't understand, ask questions!
If all else fails, get a third party involved. If you're at a standstill, get a friend, family member, or mediator involved who can assist in your communication skills. Therapists often use couples therapy to teach better communication skills. If the other person is not open to a mediator, you can still go alone for you are the only person responsible for what you say and/or do.
Many relationships fail because of poor communication. If the relationship is valued, everyone involved is responsible for communicating and ensuring understanding.
I hope everyone has a great short week!
Take care,
-Kimmy
Try making I statements: an "I" statement goes like this: I feel _______________ when you ___________. For example, "I feel annoyed when you do not take out the trash."
Listen to what is being SAID not what you WANT to hear. Don't interrupt or get offensive. Listen to what the other person is saying then repeat what was said to ensure you heard what they said. The other person will either confirm or clarify for you.
If you start to get angry, take a time out. When you see that you or the other person is getting angry, it's okay to drop the conversation for a few minutes then return to it when you calm down. Remember to return to the conversation and not "drop it" completely.
Compromise or agree to disagree. Communication is not about being right in every conversation. The main point of communication is to get to a solution to an issue not winning. If you can come up with a solution both parties can agree with then the problem is solved. :)
Take responsibility for what you said and/or did: right or wrong. Being called out is never fun but owning up to your words and actions is the mature thing to do. We're all adults here. Accountability also opens many new lines of communication.
Try to understand the other side. When you understand the other person's view, regardless of whether you agree with it or not, it's easier to make your point. If you don't understand, ask questions!
If all else fails, get a third party involved. If you're at a standstill, get a friend, family member, or mediator involved who can assist in your communication skills. Therapists often use couples therapy to teach better communication skills. If the other person is not open to a mediator, you can still go alone for you are the only person responsible for what you say and/or do.
Many relationships fail because of poor communication. If the relationship is valued, everyone involved is responsible for communicating and ensuring understanding.
I hope everyone has a great short week!
Take care,
-Kimmy
