Wednesday, July 4, 2012

Anger


Think about the last time you got angry.  There's probably a good chance that you were feeling other emotions before or while you were angry even if you didn't notice at the time.  This is because anger is a secondary emotion.  Anger is often called a secondary emotion because people get angry to protect themselves from or cover up vulnerable feelings. What people feel immediately before getting angry is called a primary emotion; we almost always feel something else first before we get angry.  We might first feel scared, attacked, offended, disrespected, forced, trapped, hurt, or pressured. If any of these feelings are intense enough, it's easy to confuse them with anger.  


Many cultures and societal norms have taught people to not show "negative" emotions such as fear, sadness, or confusion so people become angry because it is the more accepted response.  However expressing anger instead of what one is truly feeling can create more stressful situations and misunderstandings with other people.


If you're always angry and you are having issues with it, it's important to find out what is underneath the anger in order to control it.  Once you figure that out, you then need to learn how to cope with the underlying emotions.  As always, a counselor or anger management group can help you with that journey.  I also provided a link below if you want to go the online route.


http://www.angermanagementonline.com


As always, take care!


-Kimmy :)






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