Forgiveness

If you have been wronged, it is very hard to move on with your life if you do not forgive.  Resentment and hurt do just as much damage if not more than what happened to you.  Think about the last person who hurt you badly...what was it that they did to hurt you?  What part are you unable to forgive?  How has you not forgiving affected you?

Forgiveness means different things to different people.  Ask yourself:  what does forgiveness mean to you?  If you are unsure here are some things to think about.

Forgiveness is:

• Acknowledging what happened and your feelings about it.
• Letting go of anger and bitterness.
• Refusing to let the person who hurt you have power over you.
• Something you do for you.
• A choice.
• An important step in the healing process.
• Emancipating yourself from the past.
• Accepting that the past can't be changed.
• Being unwilling to wish harm on another person.

Forgiveness is NOT:

• Not forgetting what happened.
• Attempting to undo what happened.
• Denying your feelings about what happened.
• Not condoning or excusing what the other person did.
• Not the same as letting the other person get away with what they did.
• It doesn't mean that you need to continue to have a relationship with the person you're forgiving.
• It doesn't mean that your hurt about the situation will automatically go away.

If you decide to forgive, how would you benefit?  What would the cost be?  Is forgiving the person something you are ready to do and if so what steps are you going to take to start the process?

Remember that forgiveness is a process and it doesn't happen overnight.  Although it may hurt in the beginning to forgive, you will see that it is one of the best things you've ever done.

Take care,
-Kimmy

Source:  To Forgive or Not to Forgive?  Strategies for Anger Management by Kerry Moles CSW.