Are you being honest with yourself?

Are you being yourself?  I mean really being yourself?

Are you hiding aspects of yourself because of what other people may think?

Are other people's opinion of you so important to you that you're willing to be unhappy just to please them?  If so, what are you gaining in leiu of your happiness?

If you're lying to yourself and/or everyone else, the truth is going to come out anyway (usually in an unfavorable light) so you might as well be honest now...honesty is the best policy.

If you decide to be honest, what will you lose and is it truly that important to you?

Remember:  "Those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."...money isn't EVERYTHING...you only have one life to live, why be miserable?

Just some things to think about...

Take care,
- Kimmy

Everyday I'm Hustlin...

Working...we spend the majority of our lives doing it.

 

Are you doing what you love in the meantime? 

 

If so, awesome!  Are you taking steps to be the best at it as you can be?  "What do you mean?" you ask...well, are you continuing to increase your knowledge on your area of expertise?  Gaining knowledge is a never ending thing because new methods to do things are released everyday?  Continuing education is the way to go in order to remain at the top of your game.  It also shows the higher powers at work that you care about what you do and open to change.  Change is inevitable so you might as well go with the flow and learn what's new. 

 

If you don't like your job, what are you doing to change your current situation?  What do you need to do to get the job you want?  Do you need more education?  Research your educational options, there are too many schools that offer evening, weekend, and online courses for you NOT to go back to school.  If there is a will, there is time and there is a way.  People who truly care both about you at school and in your life will support you and help you make it work so honestly, there's no excuses to not go back to school if that's what you need to do.  Do you need experience? Volunteer!  If you're willing to learn hands on and work for free, the company or agency will most definitely consider you as an option for a paid position when it becomes available. 

 

Another question:  Is your work your life?  Your ENTIRE life?

 

If you answered yes, this is not good.  If you do not allow yourself time to unwind, you can wear yourself out.  Burnout and exhaustion are not fun.  Your body WILL FAIL YOU whether you want it to or not if you do not make time to rest, eat right, exercise, take time-outs, or have an outlet to let all the stress out.  STRESS KILLS! Your health will deteriorate, and by health I mean physical, emotional, and psychological health.  On top of that, people do not like to be neglected for work...kids, friends, spouses, family...you gotta find time for them after you punch out. 

 

Don't bring work home and don't bring home issues to work!  If it cannot be done by the time you get off, leave it for the next day.  If you have job responsibilities that have many deadlines, you may need to reevaluate how you manage your time at work or just say "I can't do it it's too much".  Your boss may be mad but companies don't want to fork out the cash for hospital bills, doctor visits, or therapy sessions either, if they're truly in it to make money.  If it's truly too much, maybe it's time to find a job that's not so demanding.  Work will always be around however you only have one life to live.  Soooo...don't check your crackberry or email once you leave the office!  You may like it!

 

If you hate your job to the point that your bad attitude brings down everyone else at work, it's time to leave.  I don't care how much or little you make, too much time is spent at work to not be happy about going.  Do some soul searching and figure out why you're unhappy.  Do you not like your position or the company you work for?  Do your coworkers drive you crazy because of personality/work ethic differences?  Once you figure out what make you unhappy ask yourself "can I leave?" and if so, update your resume and find something else whether it's a transfer or moving on to another company.  If you cannot leave, you gotta change your attitude.  Talk with your boss about your unhappiness with your job.  Any truly decent manager/leader will listen and help you.  If they do not, proceed to move on to another job.

 

The bills gotta be paid no matter what's going on so you might as well enjoy making that money!

 

Just some things to think about...

 

 

Here are some links to help you get a jump start...you're welcome!

 

http://www.indeed.com/ - it's only the best job search ever!

www.onlineuniversities.com/ - online schools

Google search "universities for working adults" and see where it takes you!

 

Take care,

-Kimmy

Biding my time...

Hi hi!

I've been looking for a clinical supervisor so I can register with the state...I'd like to register soon so I can study for the exam (seriously study).  We'll see how it goes.  I've been unusually tired over the past couple of weeks so I haven't had the chance to post much lately.  I plan on posting about relationships throughout February for Valentine's Day.  It's gonna be good stuff.  Feel free to let me know what I should post about I'm open to suggestions! :)

Just wanted to check in so you know I'm not being a lazy butt lol...

Take care,
-Kimmy

Friends with Benefits...bad idea...

I had to learn this one the hard way...

To make a long story short, it's a bad idea to have friends with benefits/ fuck buddies because here's what is going to happen:  one person is going to catch feelings and the other isn't going to reciprocate.  Ladies, men are capable of having sex without feelings.  They are programmed to work that way.  I don't know why...It is what it is.  If you choose to have a FWB/FB situation for whatever reason, your best bet to to make it a short-term deal 90-120 days tops (and PLEASE use protection!!). 

DO NOT EXPECT ANYTHING MORE TO COME OUT OF THE ARRANGEMENT...ABSOLUTELY NOTHING! 

Because a relationship is not going to bloom from it.  Ever.  Nope.  I can assure you 12 times out of 10 the other person has someone lined up to be their main partner.  They're just busting their nut, biding their time until they get the "boyfriend/girlfriend" title from the person they want to be with.  If you can't handle a FWB/FB psychologically or emotionally, don't do it...you're only setting yourself up for failure and the other person is NOT sweating you at all.

If you have a friend who you're considering making a FWB/FB arrangement with, ask yourself "Am I okay with losing this person as a friend?" if the answer is no, don't do it!  Good friends are hard to come by already don't lose one because you gotta get off. 

If you can keep it short and not develop feelings, FWB/FB may be for you however proceed with caution.  You may be worse off than how you were before when you were just horny.

Take care,
-Kimmy

Is Marijuana REALLY not bad for you???

God made marijuana...it came from the earth!  Therefore, in God we Trust...

That is a big argument for people who use marijuana...it's natural so it's not bad.  It is true that it's not manufactured it doesn't mean that marijuana is not doing bad things to you.  The thing is THC, the stuff that makes you high, works through your body slowly so you don't notice what's going on.  Smoking weed impairs your brain and you're just as intoxicated from smoking a blunt as you would be taking many shots. 

People can barely move or carry a conversation while high, let alone do important things like work, drive, take care of your kids.  For those of you who are "functioning potheads" there's a term for that...state dependent learning...and I bet you all my money that you don't function as well sober.  To make a long story short you learn things intoxicated and can only do them intoxicated.  For example:  you're usually a quiet person but when you've had one too many drinks you're the life of the party...and you're only social after (quite a) few drinks.  You learned to be social while you were drunk (because your inhibitions were lowered by the alcohol)...you're not able to be the life of the party sober (you draw a blank...nothing)...that's state dependent learning. 

Another thing about marijuana is that they don't tell you that it jacks up your memory and focus.  If you have an IQ that makes Albert Einstein look like he's mentally retarded, you don't notice because you have brain cells to kill.  For everybody else, I bet you money that you're not as sharp as you used to be...things are hazy more often than you'd like.

I know all the potheads are like "Kimmy you don't know what the hell you're talking about!?" Hey, I'm not preaching to anyone, live your life...do what you want...puff puff pass if that's your thing.  I'm just saying that if you think marijuana isn't doing anything bad to your brain, just pause for a second and do some Google searching.

That's all I want people to do...pause and think for a second before acting.

Besides smoking that stuff just kills a job search because that stuff stays in your body for 1-2 months (why? because the THC moves so slow through your body) no matter how much you sweat, drink water, cleanse yourself (urine tests can tell when you're faking now it's 2012 people so don't bother you're not fooling anyone) for the drug test for the new jobbizzle...but I digress...

Take care,
-Kimmy

A story I'd like to share...

It's one of my favorites.  I've seen it in a few substance abuse interventions.  How does the story apply to things going on in your life?

Enjoy and take care,
- Kimmy

AUTOBIOGRAPHY IN FIVE SHORT CHAPTERS

I
I walk down the street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I fall in.
I am lost...I am helpless.
                          It isn't my fault.
It takes forever to find a way out.

II
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I pretend I don't see it.
I fall in again.
I can't believe I am in the same place
                           but, it isn't my fault.
It still takes a long time to get out.

III
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I see it there.
I still fall in...it's a habit.
My eyes are open.
                         I know where I am
                         It is my fault.
I get out immediately.

IV
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I walk around it.

V
I walk down another street.

Copyright © Portia Nelson from the book "There's a Hole in My Sidewalk" by Beyond Words Publishing, Inc. Hillsboro, OR

Forgiveness

If you have been wronged, it is very hard to move on with your life if you do not forgive.  Resentment and hurt do just as much damage if not more than what happened to you.  Think about the last person who hurt you badly...what was it that they did to hurt you?  What part are you unable to forgive?  How has you not forgiving affected you?

Forgiveness means different things to different people.  Ask yourself:  what does forgiveness mean to you?  If you are unsure here are some things to think about.

Forgiveness is:

• Acknowledging what happened and your feelings about it.
• Letting go of anger and bitterness.
• Refusing to let the person who hurt you have power over you.
• Something you do for you.
• A choice.
• An important step in the healing process.
• Emancipating yourself from the past.
• Accepting that the past can't be changed.
• Being unwilling to wish harm on another person.

Forgiveness is NOT:

• Not forgetting what happened.
• Attempting to undo what happened.
• Denying your feelings about what happened.
• Not condoning or excusing what the other person did.
• Not the same as letting the other person get away with what they did.
• It doesn't mean that you need to continue to have a relationship with the person you're forgiving.
• It doesn't mean that your hurt about the situation will automatically go away.

If you decide to forgive, how would you benefit?  What would the cost be?  Is forgiving the person something you are ready to do and if so what steps are you going to take to start the process?

Remember that forgiveness is a process and it doesn't happen overnight.  Although it may hurt in the beginning to forgive, you will see that it is one of the best things you've ever done.

Take care,
-Kimmy

Source:  To Forgive or Not to Forgive?  Strategies for Anger Management by Kerry Moles CSW.