A Breakup is NOT the End of the World!

I've been MIA (school kicked my butt so I had to take a time out to regroup) but I'm back now!

I want to talk about breakups a little bit...

They hurt (a lot)...it's miserable...I would not wish such pain on anyone.

There are people who feel like there's no point in living when a relationship ends HOWEVER I'm here to tell you that your life does not end when your relationship does!

The end of a relationship is a lot like a loved one dying...the pain is similar and you may find yourself asking "Why?".  Because of this similarity, I say that you have to give yourself time to grieve the end of a relationship.  Allow yourself to feel the anger, sadness, hurt, confusion so it gets out of your system.  The thing with emotions is that they come and they go...they're not permanent. 

After a breakup, it's good to have some friends or family to lean on and be an ear for you to vent.  They could be old friends or new ones.  The best way to get through any rough patch in life is a solid support system.

Use a breakup as an opportunity to gain a  life lesson out of the relationship.  When something goes wrong, those times are the best life lessons.  You are never too old to learn so figure out what you needed to learn then move on. 

Although you must grieve and learn from a breakup, do not allow yourself to sink in your depression.  Keep away from triggers (songs, environments, etc.) that may make you feel any sadder.  If the sadness does not go away after a few months or you are so sad you begin to feel hopeless, reach out to your doctor or a counselor because there may be something more serious going on. 

Some people may feel that no one else will be able to love them after a relationship ends but this is not the case at all.  If you grieve, surround yourself with positive people and things and learn from your mistakes of the past relationship, you put yourself in a position to allow someone new who is better than the last partner.  Never, never, NEVER give up!

If you're going through a breakup, hang in there because believe it or not, it gets better!

Until next time,
-Kimmy

I'm starting a non-profit! (God help me!)

Hi all,

I know it's been a while since I've posted but I've gotten very behind in one of my classes and my progress in catching up has been really slow.  That and working has sucked up most of my energy.  My apologies...I have some things I want to post about but it'll have to wait another couple of weeks.  I'm also going to incorporate pictures to make things more appealing to the eye.

Now back to the topic at hand...

I'm working on starting a non-profit that involves getting youth involved in fighting discrimination.  Instilling that in them early.  I was researching for a homework assignment and there weren't any anti-discrimination groups in my area so I thought well, I'll make up one myself.  Why not?  So I'll be working on that little by little.  If you have any suggestions for what I should cover on this blog, leave a comment.

While school has been kicking my ass, my blog reached 3200 views...I'm very happy about that.  Thank you  for your support!

I want to give a MAJOR shoutout to my readers in Germany!  I appreciate you and encourage you to spread the word about this blog!

Until next time...

Take care,
-Kimmy

Second Chances

Is it ever a good idea to resume a relationship with an ex?  Can a broken friendship be reestablished?

Well, it depends on the circumstances, how you and the other person feel, and whether both parties are willing to make the changes to make the relationship work.

Here are some things to help you decide whether to give the other person another shot:

• Reflect (on your own) the pros and cons of reconnecting with the other person.  It helps to write it down.
• If the other person has wronged you in some way, you must decide to forgive them for your own peace of mind.
• Have a discussion with the other person about the deterioration of the relationship and let each other know what needs to change to make the relationship work.  Further, both parts must agree to work on making the agreed changes.

Family and friends may have concerns about you giving someone a second chance and that's because they care about you and do not want you be get hurt again.  Briefly discuss why you are giving the other person another chance and let them know that's the end of it.  It does not help when you have outside people buzzing in your ear when you are trying to repair a relationship.  It may be best to keep them out of it.

Another thing to remember is that repairing a relationship takes a lot of work and there's a chance things may not work out and you may need to let go permanently.  Take peace in the fact that you made an active attempt to make the relationship work.

There is nothing wrong with giving someone another chance because you have the right as a person to have whoever you want in your life.  If the other person continues to do you wrong, it may be best to end things for good.

Until next time...

Take care,
-Kimmy

Back in Town

Greetings!

I'm back in town! I had a blast but it's great to be back home.  Once I get caught up with school I'll get back to the posts!  Until then...

Take care,
-Kimmy

P.S. 2,300 views!?  Amazing! :)

Family Time

I'm getting ready to leave for the British Virgin Islands in a few days to visit family.  I'll be gone for abut two weeks.  I will try to post a couple of time while I'm there since I'll have more time on my hands but I'm not sure what my Internet access is looking like right now.  I'm currently working on a paper, cleaning my house, doing laundry, and packing at the same time LOL!  Once I get back, I'll be posting more frequently.  If I don't check in before I leave, take care!

-Kimmy

Mental Health 101: Fetishism

People get sexually aroused in different ways...some are "normal" and others are well, not so much...


Fetishism is the term used to describe atypical sexual behavior, was noted in the writings of 19th century French psychologist Alfred Binet. Fetishism or fetishes describe an intense sexual attraction of either non-living objects and/or specific body parts that were symbolically associated with a person. Fetishes, as with other paraphilic disorders, are almost exclusively found in men. Fetishes typically develop in childhood or early adolescence and are usually persistent into adulthood.  Fetishes can co-occur with other paraphilic (sexual arousal and gratification depend on fantasizing about and engaging in sexual behavior that is atypical and extreme...more on those in another post) behaviors, especially sadism and/or masochism but are uncommon among sexual offender paraphiliacs.   Someone with a fetish can have one or several fetishes including sexual attraction to body parts and non-living objects.  Common fetishes are female undergarments, body parts especially feet, footwear including socks, shoes and boots, and leather objects; the most popular fetish in the world is high heels.  Someone with a fetish can be sexually aroused by smell, taste, touch, insert, rub or be visually aroused of the object or body part but the object is needed in order.  


Most people do not have any issues with their fetish however it may be a problem if it interferes with your everyday life or you are harming others.  Remember, an issue is not a mental health disorder until you are unable to function in your everyday life normally.  If that's the case, it's a good idea to seek treatment from am mental health professional.  Treatment approaches have included traditional psychoanalysis, hypnosis, cognitive and behavior therapy as well as medication.  There are also support groups you can find online.  Here are a couple I found.


http://www.allinthefamilycounselling.com/index.php/groups/partners-of-sex-addictionfetishes
http://www.dailystrength.org/groups/bdsm-fetish-body-mod-and-alternative-lifestyles

I hope you guys learned something new :) until next time...

Take care,
-Kimmy

Work in progress

Hey all!

Just wanted to let you know that I'm still around.  I'm working on a post on fetishism but I don't think it's a good idea to work on it from a work computer.  I'm at a temporary location at work and I don't want to bring my personal laptop because it's too chaotic where I'm at otherwise I'd work on stuff during my lunch breaks.  I'm going to finish editing it tonight after I get my workout on (I'm trying to make that one of my priorities).

School is kicking my butt and I'm getting ready to go see my family in the British Virgin Islands next week.   It's been hectic but I'm getting there little by little. 

I've joined IBOsocial yesterday after seeing a friend talk about it on Facebook.  We'll see how that goes and whether it helps me.

Until I get the new stuff out, check out my old posts and comment with suggestions of what you want me to write about because it'll help me out a lot as to what I write about next and I don't take as long :)

Take care,
-Kimmy