Are you being yourself? I mean really being yourself?
Are you hiding aspects of yourself because of what other people may think?
Are other people's opinion of you so important to you that you're willing to be unhappy just to please them? If so, what are you gaining in leiu of your happiness?
If you're lying to yourself and/or everyone else, the truth is going to come out anyway (usually in an unfavorable light) so you might as well be honest now...honesty is the best policy.
If you decide to be honest, what will you lose and is it truly that important to you?
Remember: "Those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."...money isn't EVERYTHING...you only have one life to live, why be miserable?
Just some things to think about...
Take care,
- Kimmy
Saturday, January 28, 2012
Thursday, January 26, 2012
Everyday I'm Hustlin...
Working...we spend the majority of our lives doing it.
Are you doing what you love in the meantime?
If so, awesome! Are you taking steps to be the best at it as you can be? "What do you mean?" you ask...well, are you continuing to increase your knowledge on your area of expertise? Gaining knowledge is a never ending thing because new methods to do things are released everyday? Continuing education is the way to go in order to remain at the top of your game. It also shows the higher powers at work that you care about what you do and open to change. Change is inevitable so you might as well go with the flow and learn what's new.
If you don't like your job, what are you doing to change your current situation? What do you need to do to get the job you want? Do you need more education? Research your educational options, there are too many schools that offer evening, weekend, and online courses for you NOT to go back to school. If there is a will, there is time and there is a way. People who truly care both about you at school and in your life will support you and help you make it work so honestly, there's no excuses to not go back to school if that's what you need to do. Do you need experience? Volunteer! If you're willing to learn hands on and work for free, the company or agency will most definitely consider you as an option for a paid position when it becomes available.
Another question: Is your work your life? Your ENTIRE life?
If you answered yes, this is not good. If you do not allow yourself time to unwind, you can wear yourself out. Burnout and exhaustion are not fun. Your body WILL FAIL YOU whether you want it to or not if you do not make time to rest, eat right, exercise, take time-outs, or have an outlet to let all the stress out. STRESS KILLS! Your health will deteriorate, and by health I mean physical, emotional, and psychological health. On top of that, people do not like to be neglected for work...kids, friends, spouses, family...you gotta find time for them after you punch out.
Don't bring work home and don't bring home issues to work! If it cannot be done by the time you get off, leave it for the next day. If you have job responsibilities that have many deadlines, you may need to reevaluate how you manage your time at work or just say "I can't do it it's too much". Your boss may be mad but companies don't want to fork out the cash for hospital bills, doctor visits, or therapy sessions either, if they're truly in it to make money. If it's truly too much, maybe it's time to find a job that's not so demanding. Work will always be around however you only have one life to live. Soooo...don't check your crackberry or email once you leave the office! You may like it!
If you hate your job to the point that your bad attitude brings down everyone else at work, it's time to leave. I don't care how much or little you make, too much time is spent at work to not be happy about going. Do some soul searching and figure out why you're unhappy. Do you not like your position or the company you work for? Do your coworkers drive you crazy because of personality/work ethic differences? Once you figure out what make you unhappy ask yourself "can I leave?" and if so, update your resume and find something else whether it's a transfer or moving on to another company. If you cannot leave, you gotta change your attitude. Talk with your boss about your unhappiness with your job. Any truly decent manager/leader will listen and help you. If they do not, proceed to move on to another job.
The bills gotta be paid no matter what's going on so you might as well enjoy making that money!
Just some things to think about...
Here are some links to help you get a jump start...you're welcome!
http://www.indeed.com/ - it's only the best job search ever!
www.onlineuniversities.com/ - online schools
Google search "universities for working adults" and see where it takes you!
Take care,
-Kimmy
Wednesday, January 25, 2012
Biding my time...
Hi hi!
I've been looking for a clinical supervisor so I can register with the state...I'd like to register soon so I can study for the exam (seriously study). We'll see how it goes. I've been unusually tired over the past couple of weeks so I haven't had the chance to post much lately. I plan on posting about relationships throughout February for Valentine's Day. It's gonna be good stuff. Feel free to let me know what I should post about I'm open to suggestions! :)
Just wanted to check in so you know I'm not being a lazy butt lol...
Take care,
-Kimmy
I've been looking for a clinical supervisor so I can register with the state...I'd like to register soon so I can study for the exam (seriously study). We'll see how it goes. I've been unusually tired over the past couple of weeks so I haven't had the chance to post much lately. I plan on posting about relationships throughout February for Valentine's Day. It's gonna be good stuff. Feel free to let me know what I should post about I'm open to suggestions! :)
Just wanted to check in so you know I'm not being a lazy butt lol...
Take care,
-Kimmy
Thursday, January 19, 2012
Friends with Benefits...bad idea...
I had to learn this one the hard way...
To make a long story short, it's a bad idea to have friends with benefits/ fuck buddies because here's what is going to happen: one person is going to catch feelings and the other isn't going to reciprocate. Ladies, men are capable of having sex without feelings. They are programmed to work that way. I don't know why...It is what it is. If you choose to have a FWB/FB situation for whatever reason, your best bet to to make it a short-term deal 90-120 days tops (and PLEASE use protection!!).
DO NOT EXPECT ANYTHING MORE TO COME OUT OF THE ARRANGEMENT...ABSOLUTELY NOTHING!
Because a relationship is not going to bloom from it. Ever. Nope. I can assure you 12 times out of 10 the other person has someone lined up to be their main partner. They're just busting their nut, biding their time until they get the "boyfriend/girlfriend" title from the person they want to be with. If you can't handle a FWB/FB psychologically or emotionally, don't do it...you're only setting yourself up for failure and the other person is NOT sweating you at all.
If you have a friend who you're considering making a FWB/FB arrangement with, ask yourself "Am I okay with losing this person as a friend?" if the answer is no, don't do it! Good friends are hard to come by already don't lose one because you gotta get off.
If you can keep it short and not develop feelings, FWB/FB may be for you however proceed with caution. You may be worse off than how you were before when you were just horny.
Take care,
-Kimmy
To make a long story short, it's a bad idea to have friends with benefits/ fuck buddies because here's what is going to happen: one person is going to catch feelings and the other isn't going to reciprocate. Ladies, men are capable of having sex without feelings. They are programmed to work that way. I don't know why...It is what it is. If you choose to have a FWB/FB situation for whatever reason, your best bet to to make it a short-term deal 90-120 days tops (and PLEASE use protection!!).
DO NOT EXPECT ANYTHING MORE TO COME OUT OF THE ARRANGEMENT...ABSOLUTELY NOTHING!
Because a relationship is not going to bloom from it. Ever. Nope. I can assure you 12 times out of 10 the other person has someone lined up to be their main partner. They're just busting their nut, biding their time until they get the "boyfriend/girlfriend" title from the person they want to be with. If you can't handle a FWB/FB psychologically or emotionally, don't do it...you're only setting yourself up for failure and the other person is NOT sweating you at all.
If you have a friend who you're considering making a FWB/FB arrangement with, ask yourself "Am I okay with losing this person as a friend?" if the answer is no, don't do it! Good friends are hard to come by already don't lose one because you gotta get off.
If you can keep it short and not develop feelings, FWB/FB may be for you however proceed with caution. You may be worse off than how you were before when you were just horny.
Take care,
-Kimmy
Is Marijuana REALLY not bad for you???
God made marijuana...it came from the earth! Therefore, in God we Trust...
That is a big argument for people who use marijuana...it's natural so it's not bad. It is true that it's not manufactured it doesn't mean that marijuana is not doing bad things to you. The thing is THC, the stuff that makes you high, works through your body slowly so you don't notice what's going on. Smoking weed impairs your brain and you're just as intoxicated from smoking a blunt as you would be taking many shots.
People can barely move or carry a conversation while high, let alone do important things like work, drive, take care of your kids. For those of you who are "functioning potheads" there's a term for that...state dependent learning...and I bet you all my money that you don't function as well sober. To make a long story short you learn things intoxicated and can only do them intoxicated. For example: you're usually a quiet person but when you've had one too many drinks you're the life of the party...and you're only social after (quite a) few drinks. You learned to be social while you were drunk (because your inhibitions were lowered by the alcohol)...you're not able to be the life of the party sober (you draw a blank...nothing)...that's state dependent learning.
Another thing about marijuana is that they don't tell you that it jacks up your memory and focus. If you have an IQ that makes Albert Einstein look like he's mentally retarded, you don't notice because you have brain cells to kill. For everybody else, I bet you money that you're not as sharp as you used to be...things are hazy more often than you'd like.
I know all the potheads are like "Kimmy you don't know what the hell you're talking about!?" Hey, I'm not preaching to anyone, live your life...do what you want...puff puff pass if that's your thing. I'm just saying that if you think marijuana isn't doing anything bad to your brain, just pause for a second and do some Google searching.
That's all I want people to do...pause and think for a second before acting.
Besides smoking that stuff just kills a job search because that stuff stays in your body for 1-2 months (why? because the THC moves so slow through your body) no matter how much you sweat, drink water, cleanse yourself (urine tests can tell when you're faking now it's 2012 people so don't bother you're not fooling anyone) for the drug test for the new jobbizzle...but I digress...
Take care,
-Kimmy
That is a big argument for people who use marijuana...it's natural so it's not bad. It is true that it's not manufactured it doesn't mean that marijuana is not doing bad things to you. The thing is THC, the stuff that makes you high, works through your body slowly so you don't notice what's going on. Smoking weed impairs your brain and you're just as intoxicated from smoking a blunt as you would be taking many shots.
People can barely move or carry a conversation while high, let alone do important things like work, drive, take care of your kids. For those of you who are "functioning potheads" there's a term for that...state dependent learning...and I bet you all my money that you don't function as well sober. To make a long story short you learn things intoxicated and can only do them intoxicated. For example: you're usually a quiet person but when you've had one too many drinks you're the life of the party...and you're only social after (quite a) few drinks. You learned to be social while you were drunk (because your inhibitions were lowered by the alcohol)...you're not able to be the life of the party sober (you draw a blank...nothing)...that's state dependent learning.
Another thing about marijuana is that they don't tell you that it jacks up your memory and focus. If you have an IQ that makes Albert Einstein look like he's mentally retarded, you don't notice because you have brain cells to kill. For everybody else, I bet you money that you're not as sharp as you used to be...things are hazy more often than you'd like.
I know all the potheads are like "Kimmy you don't know what the hell you're talking about!?" Hey, I'm not preaching to anyone, live your life...do what you want...puff puff pass if that's your thing. I'm just saying that if you think marijuana isn't doing anything bad to your brain, just pause for a second and do some Google searching.
That's all I want people to do...pause and think for a second before acting.
Besides smoking that stuff just kills a job search because that stuff stays in your body for 1-2 months (why? because the THC moves so slow through your body) no matter how much you sweat, drink water, cleanse yourself (urine tests can tell when you're faking now it's 2012 people so don't bother you're not fooling anyone) for the drug test for the new jobbizzle...but I digress...
Take care,
-Kimmy
A story I'd like to share...
It's one of my favorites. I've seen it in a few substance abuse interventions. How does the story apply to things going on in your life?
Enjoy and take care,
- Kimmy
AUTOBIOGRAPHY IN FIVE SHORT CHAPTERS
I
I walk down the street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I fall in.
I am lost...I am helpless.
It isn't my fault.
It takes forever to find a way out.
II
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I pretend I don't see it.
I fall in again.
I can't believe I am in the same place
but, it isn't my fault.
It still takes a long time to get out.
III
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I see it there.
I still fall in...it's a habit.
My eyes are open.
I know where I am
It is my fault.
I get out immediately.
IV
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I walk around it.
V
I walk down another street.
Copyright © Portia Nelson from the book "There's a Hole in My Sidewalk" by Beyond Words Publishing, Inc. Hillsboro, OR
Enjoy and take care,
- Kimmy
AUTOBIOGRAPHY IN FIVE SHORT CHAPTERS
I
I walk down the street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I fall in.
I am lost...I am helpless.
It isn't my fault.
It takes forever to find a way out.
II
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I pretend I don't see it.
I fall in again.
I can't believe I am in the same place
but, it isn't my fault.
It still takes a long time to get out.
III
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I see it there.
I still fall in...it's a habit.
My eyes are open.
I know where I am
It is my fault.
I get out immediately.
IV
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I walk around it.
V
I walk down another street.
Copyright © Portia Nelson from the book "There's a Hole in My Sidewalk" by Beyond Words Publishing, Inc. Hillsboro, OR
Monday, January 16, 2012
Forgiveness
If you have been wronged, it is very hard to move on with your life if you do not forgive. Resentment and hurt do just as much damage if not more than what happened to you. Think about the last person who hurt you badly...what was it that they did to hurt you? What part are you unable to forgive? How has you not forgiving affected you?
Forgiveness means different things to different people. Ask yourself: what does forgiveness mean to you? If you are unsure here are some things to think about.
Forgiveness is:
Forgiveness is NOT:
Remember that forgiveness is a process and it doesn't happen overnight. Although it may hurt in the beginning to forgive, you will see that it is one of the best things you've ever done.
Take care,
-Kimmy
Source: To Forgive or Not to Forgive? Strategies for Anger Management by Kerry Moles CSW.
Forgiveness means different things to different people. Ask yourself: what does forgiveness mean to you? If you are unsure here are some things to think about.
Forgiveness is:
- Acknowledging what happened and your feelings about it.
- Letting go of anger and bitterness.
- Refusing to let the person who hurt you have power over you.
- Something you do for you.
- A choice.
- An important step in the healing process.
- Emancipating yourself from the past.
- Accepting that the past can't be changed.
- Being unwilling to wish harm on another person.
Forgiveness is NOT:
- Not forgetting what happened.
- Attempting to undo what happened.
- Denying your feelings about what happened.
- Not condoning or excusing what the other person did.
- Not the same as letting the other person get away with what they did.
- It doesn't mean that you need to continue to have a relationship with the person you're forgiving.
- It doesn't mean that your hurt about the situation will automatically go away.
Remember that forgiveness is a process and it doesn't happen overnight. Although it may hurt in the beginning to forgive, you will see that it is one of the best things you've ever done.
Take care,
-Kimmy
Source: To Forgive or Not to Forgive? Strategies for Anger Management by Kerry Moles CSW.
Thursday, January 12, 2012
Friendship
Friends...how many of us have them?
Everyone wants to have good people in their life but the real question is: are you a good friend? Do you at least check in on those you care about the most. People remember when you're not around especially when they needed you most. Always treat your friends how you want to be treated.
One of my favorite sayings is that there will always be times when you know who your real friends are. Keep note of who is around during your prosperious times and when you're down and out. Who is truly supportive of you? Who tells you what you need to hear instead of what you want to hear? Those friends are your real friends.
People keep people in their life because they've known them for many many years. That's fine if they continue to meet your needs as a friend throughout the years. If you've outgrown someone as a friend it's okay to let them go and make new friends. In life you win some and you lose some.
Life is already tough at times so having good friends and being a good friend makes the ride less bumpy.
Take care,
-Kimmy
Everyone wants to have good people in their life but the real question is: are you a good friend? Do you at least check in on those you care about the most. People remember when you're not around especially when they needed you most. Always treat your friends how you want to be treated.
One of my favorite sayings is that there will always be times when you know who your real friends are. Keep note of who is around during your prosperious times and when you're down and out. Who is truly supportive of you? Who tells you what you need to hear instead of what you want to hear? Those friends are your real friends.
People keep people in their life because they've known them for many many years. That's fine if they continue to meet your needs as a friend throughout the years. If you've outgrown someone as a friend it's okay to let them go and make new friends. In life you win some and you lose some.
Life is already tough at times so having good friends and being a good friend makes the ride less bumpy.
Take care,
-Kimmy
Saturday, January 7, 2012
Mental Health 101: Depression
Have you ever been down in the dumps?
Everyone has had times when they felt sad. Luckily they bounce back. People say they're depressed all the time. However depression is a serious mental health disorder if untreated for a long period of time.
In addition to feeling depressed, people with depression have problems sleeping, lose or gain a lot of weight in a short period of time, are agitated or irritable, have no energy, and/or feel worthless. If more severe cases they think about ending their own life. Some attempt to end their life because they do not think things will get better for them.
Although it is normal to feel sad sometimes, depression is not normal; there is a chemical imbalance in your brain that needs to be corrected. If you or someone you know may have depression, see a doctor or therapist immediately to be sure! Your doctor or therapist can help you with medicine or counseling depending on how bad your depression is. If you don't know where to begin, here are some resources to get you started. Doing something is a matter of life or death.
http://www.hopeline.com/
http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/
http://www.apa.org/
http://therapists.psychologytoday.com/
www.dailystrength.org/c/Depression
Take care,
-Kimmy
Everyone has had times when they felt sad. Luckily they bounce back. People say they're depressed all the time. However depression is a serious mental health disorder if untreated for a long period of time.
In addition to feeling depressed, people with depression have problems sleeping, lose or gain a lot of weight in a short period of time, are agitated or irritable, have no energy, and/or feel worthless. If more severe cases they think about ending their own life. Some attempt to end their life because they do not think things will get better for them.
Although it is normal to feel sad sometimes, depression is not normal; there is a chemical imbalance in your brain that needs to be corrected. If you or someone you know may have depression, see a doctor or therapist immediately to be sure! Your doctor or therapist can help you with medicine or counseling depending on how bad your depression is. If you don't know where to begin, here are some resources to get you started. Doing something is a matter of life or death.
http://www.hopeline.com/
http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/
http://www.apa.org/
http://therapists.psychologytoday.com/
www.dailystrength.org/c/Depression
Take care,
-Kimmy
Losing Weight...
True Story...
I went to a friend's birthday party and we ate at Applebee's because Dave and Buster's had a two hour wait. It was interesting to see the larger people and self proclaimed "fat girls" eat the good fatty stuff: wings, burgers, the appetizer trio...if it sounded like you'd get a heart attack hearing it it was on the table. On the other hand, the two skinniest girls ate chicken wraps and fries and water. I thought to myself "hmmm...that's how the skinny folks stay skinny".
What is the point of my story? Being "skinny" is a way of life. That's the main reason fad diets and workouts do not work. A healthy lifestyle is a 24/7/365 thing. You gotta eat healthy and moderately and exercise at least 30 minutes a day to lose weight. Burn more calories than you consume. That's it...it's not rocket science.
Then why is obesity such an issue in the United States?
Before you can lose weight and stay "skinny" you gotta get your mind right. You have to make some major changes to the way you think about yourself, food, and exercise in order for the weight to come and stay off. Remember, the body cannot live on it's own without the brain. If you're an emotional eater, you need to work on coping with life. If you are unmotivated to exercise, you need to reflect on whether your lack of motivation is in exercise only or does it happen in all aspects of your life? What is the REAL reason you want to lose weight? If your reason is any reason other than "I love me and I want to be around for a long time", you need to reevaluate some things in your life. If your mind is right, your body will be too.
A healthy lifestyle is also a commitment. Think "until death parts us". There should be few cheat days; the only time you don't exercise is when you're sick or injured. Seriously, that's how the skinny people do it (with exception to those with good DNA and high metabolisms however not many fall into that category).
If you are not seriously willing to do the above at least be honest about your weight and get to a point that you can get a clean bill of health from the doctor. Your health is ALWAYS first!
If you need help getting your mind right, see a counselor. Your doctor and dietitian can help you with your body. If you have the means, a personal trainer can help you but it's not necessary. Just get active...do SOMETHING, ANYTHING! Just get off that couch!
Healthy living is happy living!
-Kimmy
I went to a friend's birthday party and we ate at Applebee's because Dave and Buster's had a two hour wait. It was interesting to see the larger people and self proclaimed "fat girls" eat the good fatty stuff: wings, burgers, the appetizer trio...if it sounded like you'd get a heart attack hearing it it was on the table. On the other hand, the two skinniest girls ate chicken wraps and fries and water. I thought to myself "hmmm...that's how the skinny folks stay skinny".
What is the point of my story? Being "skinny" is a way of life. That's the main reason fad diets and workouts do not work. A healthy lifestyle is a 24/7/365 thing. You gotta eat healthy and moderately and exercise at least 30 minutes a day to lose weight. Burn more calories than you consume. That's it...it's not rocket science.
Then why is obesity such an issue in the United States?
Before you can lose weight and stay "skinny" you gotta get your mind right. You have to make some major changes to the way you think about yourself, food, and exercise in order for the weight to come and stay off. Remember, the body cannot live on it's own without the brain. If you're an emotional eater, you need to work on coping with life. If you are unmotivated to exercise, you need to reflect on whether your lack of motivation is in exercise only or does it happen in all aspects of your life? What is the REAL reason you want to lose weight? If your reason is any reason other than "I love me and I want to be around for a long time", you need to reevaluate some things in your life. If your mind is right, your body will be too.
A healthy lifestyle is also a commitment. Think "until death parts us". There should be few cheat days; the only time you don't exercise is when you're sick or injured. Seriously, that's how the skinny people do it (with exception to those with good DNA and high metabolisms however not many fall into that category).
If you are not seriously willing to do the above at least be honest about your weight and get to a point that you can get a clean bill of health from the doctor. Your health is ALWAYS first!
If you need help getting your mind right, see a counselor. Your doctor and dietitian can help you with your body. If you have the means, a personal trainer can help you but it's not necessary. Just get active...do SOMETHING, ANYTHING! Just get off that couch!
Healthy living is happy living!
-Kimmy
Tuesday, January 3, 2012
It's Tax Time!
What does a counselor know about money!?
THIS counselor knows quite a bit about money. I used to be a financial representative and was in financial services for 7 years (unfortunately)...the bills had to be paid somehow but I digress. My part time job is doing taxes. I'm not going to tell you where to protect the innocent but I love the job. The company treats me well and we have fun.
Anywho, back to my original point: tax time!
Tax time means TAX REFUND CHECKS!!
With that said, I just want to make a point. If you've been planning on how to spend your refund check since October, you may need to reevaluate your financial situation. If you spend your tax refund check on things to cover up the fact that you're broke, again, you may need to reevaluate your financial situation. If you're eligible to receive the Earned Income Credit, yes it makes your tax refund check look nice however to qualify for it you have to be living BELOW POVERTY LEVEL! Last I checked, living below poverty is rough living. Again, you may need to reevaluate your financial situation. You're supposed to break even at tax time however I understand Uncle Sam is on the bottom of your list of bills to pay. If you're tired of the cycle, reevaluate your money situation! If you don't have the slightest clue about money, go to the bank. All those fees you're paying fund those people's salary so use them! If you don't like banks I say get over that foolishness...sometimes you have to do things you don't want to do to get where you want to be in life.
I know the majority of people are honest people struggling to get by however another point I want to make is claiming other people's children on your taxes. The maximum number of kids to get the big refunds is 3 so the people who have more sell the other kids to people who don't have kids for a portion of the refund. The feds know you do that mess that's why there is so much paperwork to get the EIC credit and the tax prep fees are more than you expect...they're trying to stop people from doing that foolishness. A word from the wise of claiming kids (this includes deadbeat baby daddies and baby mamas too): if you cannot prove in writing that you provided more than have of that child's support for over 6 months of the year in the event of an audit, don't claim that child! If the IRS figures out that you're claiming stuff you're not supposed to claim, they're going to make you pay that refund back in full ASAP! They will take all your future refunds until they get all their money back and they won't let you claim the credits in the future even if it's legit for up to 10 years!
I just wanted to give you a couple of things to think about while you wait for your W-2s...
Take Care,
Kimmy
THIS counselor knows quite a bit about money. I used to be a financial representative and was in financial services for 7 years (unfortunately)...the bills had to be paid somehow but I digress. My part time job is doing taxes. I'm not going to tell you where to protect the innocent but I love the job. The company treats me well and we have fun.
Anywho, back to my original point: tax time!
Tax time means TAX REFUND CHECKS!!
With that said, I just want to make a point. If you've been planning on how to spend your refund check since October, you may need to reevaluate your financial situation. If you spend your tax refund check on things to cover up the fact that you're broke, again, you may need to reevaluate your financial situation. If you're eligible to receive the Earned Income Credit, yes it makes your tax refund check look nice however to qualify for it you have to be living BELOW POVERTY LEVEL! Last I checked, living below poverty is rough living. Again, you may need to reevaluate your financial situation. You're supposed to break even at tax time however I understand Uncle Sam is on the bottom of your list of bills to pay. If you're tired of the cycle, reevaluate your money situation! If you don't have the slightest clue about money, go to the bank. All those fees you're paying fund those people's salary so use them! If you don't like banks I say get over that foolishness...sometimes you have to do things you don't want to do to get where you want to be in life.
I know the majority of people are honest people struggling to get by however another point I want to make is claiming other people's children on your taxes. The maximum number of kids to get the big refunds is 3 so the people who have more sell the other kids to people who don't have kids for a portion of the refund. The feds know you do that mess that's why there is so much paperwork to get the EIC credit and the tax prep fees are more than you expect...they're trying to stop people from doing that foolishness. A word from the wise of claiming kids (this includes deadbeat baby daddies and baby mamas too): if you cannot prove in writing that you provided more than have of that child's support for over 6 months of the year in the event of an audit, don't claim that child! If the IRS figures out that you're claiming stuff you're not supposed to claim, they're going to make you pay that refund back in full ASAP! They will take all your future refunds until they get all their money back and they won't let you claim the credits in the future even if it's legit for up to 10 years!
I just wanted to give you a couple of things to think about while you wait for your W-2s...
Take Care,
Kimmy
Monday, January 2, 2012
The 90-day rule...
Do I have your attention? Good!
I know a lot of people have heard of the 90-day rule from Steve Harvey's book Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man. A lot of people were like "That's messed up!" because let's face it, when it comes to sex people don't think rationally they just do. That's why STIs are such a problem in the United States. Well I think the 90-day rule is a good idea but not for the reasons Steve Harvey says...
All STIs including HIV show up on a STI/HIV test by three months once a person is exposed from unprotected sex. With that said, once your new partner finishes their probation period, go to the clinic or doctor's office together and get tested! If your partner refuses, you may want to run! During the probation period (honestly, as soon as possible) it may be a good idea to talk to your partner about what means of contraception/protection you plan on using if and when you have sex. It's much better to have the talk anytime other than the heat of the moment. A wise man once told me "A hard penis has no conscience!"
Once you have figured out your safe sex plan, go shopping for condoms together. There are way too many kinds, sizes, and shapes of condoms to not use one. Buy different kinds and try them all out. If your partner tells you that condoms hinder their performance, find some sex toys to enhance the experience. Both of you learn about different sex techniques to maintain arousal. It also helps to put a couple of drops of lubricant on the inside of the condom to increase sensitivity. There are many ways safe sex can be pleasurable you just have to think outside of the box!
If you partner refuses to use protection, there are some things you need to think about. What happens when you don't use protection? Pregnancy! Are you and your partner ready to have a child? Financially, mentally, and emotionally ready? Are you where you want to be in life? Are you and your partner in it for the long haul (and I mean ride or die)? If you answered no to any of these questions, it may be a good idea to reevaluate the contraception situation. Ladies, you may need to think long and hard about your views on contraception. If your views on contraception contradict with your readiness to have a child, you may need to take a step back on sex until you are ready for what may happen in the event you get pregnant. Another thing you have to think about are STIs. Some STIs are curable, others are not. Are you faithful to your partner? Is your partner faithful to you? Can you keep up with the treatment of a curable STI? Can you deal with living with a STI that is not curable? If you answered no to any of these questions, you may need to reevaluate your views on safe sex. The fallout of an unplanned pregnancy and/or incurable STI is a heavy burden to bear. I'm not here to preach to anyone about anything. I just want you to think before you act.
If your partner refuses to practice safe sex, they are not thinking or caring about their own health and well being let alone yours. I understand loving someone, trust me, but love can and will cloud your judgement. If you're going to stick around, brace yourself for the possible consequences of your decision. At least get tested regularly so you know what's going on with your body.
It's 2012 people! There's a lot of bad people and things out there! You gotta love and protect yourself in order to live the life you truly want to live!
Take care,
- Kimmy
I know a lot of people have heard of the 90-day rule from Steve Harvey's book Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man. A lot of people were like "That's messed up!" because let's face it, when it comes to sex people don't think rationally they just do. That's why STIs are such a problem in the United States. Well I think the 90-day rule is a good idea but not for the reasons Steve Harvey says...
All STIs including HIV show up on a STI/HIV test by three months once a person is exposed from unprotected sex. With that said, once your new partner finishes their probation period, go to the clinic or doctor's office together and get tested! If your partner refuses, you may want to run! During the probation period (honestly, as soon as possible) it may be a good idea to talk to your partner about what means of contraception/protection you plan on using if and when you have sex. It's much better to have the talk anytime other than the heat of the moment. A wise man once told me "A hard penis has no conscience!"
Once you have figured out your safe sex plan, go shopping for condoms together. There are way too many kinds, sizes, and shapes of condoms to not use one. Buy different kinds and try them all out. If your partner tells you that condoms hinder their performance, find some sex toys to enhance the experience. Both of you learn about different sex techniques to maintain arousal. It also helps to put a couple of drops of lubricant on the inside of the condom to increase sensitivity. There are many ways safe sex can be pleasurable you just have to think outside of the box!
If you partner refuses to use protection, there are some things you need to think about. What happens when you don't use protection? Pregnancy! Are you and your partner ready to have a child? Financially, mentally, and emotionally ready? Are you where you want to be in life? Are you and your partner in it for the long haul (and I mean ride or die)? If you answered no to any of these questions, it may be a good idea to reevaluate the contraception situation. Ladies, you may need to think long and hard about your views on contraception. If your views on contraception contradict with your readiness to have a child, you may need to take a step back on sex until you are ready for what may happen in the event you get pregnant. Another thing you have to think about are STIs. Some STIs are curable, others are not. Are you faithful to your partner? Is your partner faithful to you? Can you keep up with the treatment of a curable STI? Can you deal with living with a STI that is not curable? If you answered no to any of these questions, you may need to reevaluate your views on safe sex. The fallout of an unplanned pregnancy and/or incurable STI is a heavy burden to bear. I'm not here to preach to anyone about anything. I just want you to think before you act.
If your partner refuses to practice safe sex, they are not thinking or caring about their own health and well being let alone yours. I understand loving someone, trust me, but love can and will cloud your judgement. If you're going to stick around, brace yourself for the possible consequences of your decision. At least get tested regularly so you know what's going on with your body.
It's 2012 people! There's a lot of bad people and things out there! You gotta love and protect yourself in order to live the life you truly want to live!
Take care,
- Kimmy
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